Penguin?

I never knew how much research was involved in the field of plush toy design. Now I know that the answer is zero. This is the worst approximation of a penguin I have ever seen. It’s beak is a nose and there is a separate mouth.

The Things You Write Are Stupid

What kind of organizational system is this? Vases and jackets? Are they winter vases?
Here’s a secret, house wares mixed in with clothing make us want to punch you. Or at the very least spit on your car. You might think that the jackets keep the vases from breaking. We don’t give a crap about your vases. They’re probably worthless.

Triple Dick Score

Donor: Here you go.
Employee: Scrabble, cool. Where are the tiles?
Donor: Dunno. Just got the board.
Employee: …um, thanks I guess.
Donor: Yeah. Can I get a tax receipt?
*Blogger’s Note: I know that wasn’t very funny, but this is one of those donations that is so terrible I can’t think straight. I just want to curse. And that would have been less funny. People who don’t work at the Donation Location will think I’m being mean. My co-workers are reading this and wondering why I went so easy.*

A Little Night Music

Yes, David Rose and his Orchestra play “The Stripper” and Other Fun Songs for the Family. The hard to find vinyl gem has landed at the Donation Location. Hear other family appropriate toe-tappers such as “Street Walker,” “All-Nite Porn Theater Waltz,” and “Lil’ Mabel Mudflaps.” Perfect for the entire family that aspires to be on Behind the Music.

The Donation Location is Sorry For Your Loss

Rule #34 for donating items to charity. Any stock you have left over from your failed attempt to break into the craft fair circuit is not acceptable. This plastic, castle-shaped kleenex holder falls under this rule, as do diamond shaped ornaments made out of the same material.

This thing is a classic Dead Relative Donation. Somebody’s grandma died and they just scooped everything that was on her dresser into a box and couldn’t handle the thought of throwing her things away. So they decided to give them away.

Right now you probably think I’m a terrible person for writing that. But I’m not the one who donated garbage to charity.