Court-Martialed By the Redemption Navy

It’s a sad day here at the WGWTD home offices in sunny Maracaibo, Venezuela. We will be shutting down shop for the foreseeable future. We have enjoyed bringing you a light-hearted look at the world of resale, but some people weren’t likin‘ it.

Your doans are safe…for now.

❤ The Ware Wolf

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Run, Dick, Run

How to solve sticky predicaments like:

  • Uncle Larry has you cornered in the basement again and wants to show you his favorite scene in Wild Things.
  • Mom won’t let you get your belly button pierced even though you’re mature for an 8th grader.
  • All your friends want to see the new Freddy Kruger movie, but you’re a pansy who still sleeps with a night light.
  • Mr. Spradlin is totally unfair. How are you supposed to do 10 problems over the weekend?
  • Your mom bought you a shirt from Salvation Army that used to be Ricky’s and now everyone knows that you’re poor.

Witchy Poo

This charming Halloween decoration is a witch who has been strung up and had the words “broom parking in rear” emblazoned across her belly. This is an obscure reference to Nathaniel Hawthorne’ s The Brown Bunny, the Scarlet Letter sequel adapted for film by Vincent Gallo. The townspeople force Hester Prynne’s cousin to wear the sentence due to her proclivity for eschewing traditional intercourse in favor of anal pleasures. Get it, because it’s in the rear.

There’s a Reason He Got Top Billing

Oh my god! Oh my god! This is my favorite donation ever. EVER! It is a 2010 weekly calendar celebrating Meriwether Lewis. Not the dynamic duo of Lewis and Clark. Just Lewis! Who gives a shit? Aaaaah, this is great. I need a giddy emoticon to put here.
What pointless grudge spawned this product? Who in the year two-thousand-and-ten wants to celebrate Lewis but not Clark? I’ll tell you who, the tiniest niche market in the universe: descendants of Meriwether Lewis. And one of them donated it because they thought it was lame!
The text in the green banner is hard to read but it says, “If that Sacajawea bitch got a coin then my great-great-great-great uncle deserves a spiral bound appointment book.”