Supporting the Cause

You can smell the victory.

Much like the coin purse that this jock strap previously held, this picture is a bit fuzzy. And for that we apologize. Moving on to business.No matter how many 3A high school state track and field championships your lucky jock won, it needs to be washed properly. Proper washing of clothes is step one to the donation process. Even then it will still be held between a Donation Location employees thumb and pointer finger while she emits a low eeeeeeew and throws it away. Because it’s a jock strap. Blech.

March Sadness

Probably not making the team in this shirt.

This is from Oshkosh-begosh’s brand new “Vaguely Aware” line. It’s designed for parents who are vaguely aware of things that kids are into these days. Are you vaguely aware of internets and motherboards? Buy your child the shirt with words “modem”, “RAM” and “geocities.” 

Are you vaguely aware that kids like sports and want your kid to fit in but have no allegiance to any specific team? This shirt is for you. Basketball specific terms like “2 points”, “slam dunk” and “defense” will show that your child is hip and in the know. Even though two of those three terms also apply to football. But the orange circle with the lines clearly indicate that this is a basketball playing kid. I’m not sure what the number 25 on the hip is about. Ignore the fact that this is a baseball tee. 

While you’re at it ignore the ass kicking your kid is getting for wearing this instead of a shirt with a real team on it.

Classy

Your eyes do not deceive you. This is a blouse with a thong attached. It’s all one thing.
I assume this is from Europe. What I can’t determine is whether it’s supposed to keep your shirt tucked in or pull your thong out so it shows.
Another unknown of this garment: is it supposed to be sexy. I think my co-worker, Peter Flugen, summed it up best by calling it, “the mullet of shirts: business on top, party on the bottom.”