How many shades of gray? 40? 45? 49?
Here we have the origins, the building blocks of all Donation Location book sections: the grocery store book aisle. This is where people go to see what the Dean Koontzes, the Nora Robertses, the Janet Evanoviches and the Dick Francises of the world have been up to in the past month. It is a scientific fact that 85% of the books in this photo will and some point be on the shelves of a Salvation Will for Humanity. What we don’t know is, are the books actually purchased from the grocery store and then donated after being read. Or do grocery stores simply dump them outside of the nearest donation location when the next month’s shipment arrives.
This is a great book for any of you globe trotters out there. Topics include:
Appropriate length of eye contact one is allowed to maintain with a member of the 1983, 1984, 1985, 1987, 1988, 1990 and 2006 Edmonton Oiler teams. How to differentiate between “hoser” the insult and “hoser” the term of endearment. Much like the British driving on the opposite side of the road as Americans, Canadians have their cutlery on the opposite side of the plate. Your salad fork may not be where you think it is. Do not insist that they are America’s hat.
Do you know what makes a great title for a children’s book? A masturbatory euphemism.
He must be reading Ezekiel 23: 19-21. That one gets me going too. But I asked my priest and he said it doesn’t count as spilling your seed if it lands on the New Testament.
Forget your baseball cards, you twit, there is a topless mermaid swimming outside your porthole. (I’d like to get inside her porthole.) Who cares about Alex Gordon’s batting average (I’d let her choke up on my bat) there are underwater breasts unencumbered by seashells or any sort of make shift brassiere. (I’d let her ride my pine) I’m as shocked as that illogically colored fish that this ginger is so enamored with relics of a sport, no longer playable due to the melted polar ice caps, that he doesn’t notice Ariel’s green-haired, sluttier cousin showing of her flesh anemones. (I’d let her round my bases. I’d let her go high and inside. I’d like to take her out to a ball game. I’d stretch her seventh inning. I’d Roger her Dorn)
This is an unacceptable amount of side-boob for the cover of a children’s book.
Judith Campbell is an astronaut whose ship went missing in the early 80s. In 2005 she returned to Earth in a vessel that no one could identify. She claimed to have traveled into the distant future to a place where horses had evolved into an intelligent race. Palominos were the ruling class, Clydesdales comprised the working class and Shetlands were the circus freaks. Humans were tied up to carts and forced pull them by being whipped. The World of Horses is the story of Campbell’s heroic adventure. The book will, in 10 years, reignite the American interest in space travel, driven mostly by girls currently age 7 to 15 who now know that their wildest dreams are a reality that is only 2,430 light years away.